If Not All...

I found myself the other day walking amidst the headstones of the Orem cemetery. I truthfully don’t know why I am so attracted to these places of rest. I think it has to do with the infinite query into what there is after we pass on from this life? It is simple in my mind, either we truly do continue on after we die or there is absolutely nothing else when our bodies go the way of all the earth. Well, let’s dive into the psychology of this elaborate mystery. There are those who say people only concocted an idea of life after death as a form of comfort to soothe the bereavement of the horrendous pain that comes with it. Then there are those who profess an absolute knowledge of continuing life. Well, who is right? I never said I was going to be unbiased in this opinion simply because to only some it is an opinion but to others it is fact. And I do say plainly that there is life after death and there is no other way it can be. I am not a fanatic, I simply know what is true. I base this conclusion I have not from my many “faith confirming physical encounters” but rather from my belief that there is meaning to my life, and if there is meaning to my life than I know that there is a continuing purpose in my death, and it is not simply to pain those who I left behind but to continue having purpose within the unseen world. There is an eternal plan and purpose that was before the world began and it will continue on even after our world is gone, and the souls of all of its inhabitants will not be left purposeless or un-existing. My mind has delved into the furthest corners a mind can fathom of the plan of salvation from its very conception and thought about things I simply can’t write about because of its almost unbelievable nature. What were we simply before we were here? I say we were pure consciousness, pure intelligence that drifted aimlessly in unorganized space. We yearned for something but we didn’t know what. How did we find our bodies? How did we obtain our physical self? And what is the purpose of our bodies? Why couldn’t we have continued as pure thought? There was One who organized us but I ask how did this One have the ability to organize us and create this purpose for us to continue, and that question even at that time in space was huge I must assume, what were we to continue on to? I say there was One intelligence who figured out how to obtain a physical presence and this soul learned all of the absolute truths of the universe that we are even taught today. And those laws and truths of the universe are faith, charity, selflessness, and love, those are the things that run the cosmos, that is the mystery, and our religion, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is not simply a religion, it is the true science that we are to understand and learn. When we align ourselves with these true teachings we are learning how to utilize the rules of eternity, we become masters of the universe when we are one hundred percent aligned with these true principles and laws. I believe there is life after death because I believe there is a grandness to everything around us and if there is no life after death then there is no purpose and if there is no purpose then there is nothing, there is no us, no life originally. But I say there is life because even though this might be the grandest dream ever imagined it is an actual dream, it is thought and consciousness, and where there is thought there is life, where there is life there is purpose, and purpose does not fade and it does not die, it simply continually evolves to grander and more beautiful heights and dreams of immaculate levels. We need simply understand our purpose, like we needed to understand our purpose when we had no bodies, no bodies to create anything other than continual unprogressive thought which we were stuck with never able to bring to fruition our desires because we had no means to. There is no question, to me when I doubt the church for whatever selfish reason that creeps up in me I cannot deny the simply, beautiful truth that there is life after death, and if that is true then I know the church is true. There is no question concerning continuing life. My conscience is not my body, and though my body will die one day I will still dream, and I will still live. So, just so you know, yes, there is life after death, and to those who say there isn’t, well, let’s just let them be surprised.

Isn’t it beautiful, I see how it all fits together so clearly in my head, yet I stutter when I speak. Those who fall away will return because there will come a time for everyone one they realize there is nowhere else to go. It comes at all different times and in all different places and it is excruciatingly painful often but when it comes right down to the very center of all true meaning, there is a darkness and there is a light, and it will become painfully clear to everyone at their appropriate time when they realize that they want to see, when they yearn for a light in their darkness, and when the real symbolic representations start to come over our minds and our eyes as the veil starts to become removed from us we will start to see clearly that doing wrong and acting and partaking in evil and wicked activities literally is darkness and doing right and abiding by the principles of the true universe is light and truth. Just like when the lights go out we turn on our flashlights and light a match so we can see, we will all do this exact same thing spiritually when we come to the undeniable truth that we are in spiritual darkness. We will, like the lost ship at sea, make our way to that beacon of light, that lighthouse on the horizon because no one wants to be left in the dark. This thing will happen in this life but it is my conviction that it happens in the afterlife as well, it is simply not as easy because truthfully this is the place and time to get things done and to learn, but with all of the sincerity and truth that is in my chest I firmly believe that we are not damned eternally if we don’t find our way in this life, even in the spirit world souls will find their way back home and make the sacrifices that are necessary to find their peace once again. I believe that there really are very few who will not be saved in the Kingdom of Heaven, and those few I believe are those whom you and I probably won’t ever know in this life. So, when you are down and worried about your self worth and goodness, just know you are good. It is as simple as that. There is nothing you can do to eliminate yourself from a true everlasting happiness. There is nothing you can do to not have the acceptance of Heavenly Father. And I don’t say any of this to excuse or justify any sin or wrong doing but rather I say it to help people understand that they are going to be alright pretty much no matter what, because that is the genius of our God. That is His Love. That is what is true and I’ll leave you with 2nd Nephi 33, verse 12.

12 And I pray the Father in the name of Christ that many of us, if not all, may be saved in his kingdom at that great and last day.

I believe Nephi had a true enough heart to be inspired to add, “if not all” to his writing. That is all for now, until next time, goodnight.

ps. read the whole chapter. it is awesome...

Hope

Do you know what it’s like to not have hope? Bishop Monson, Pre. Monson’s nephew came and spoke at my FHE tonight and he, just like Pre. Monson, can tell stories, I mean he can tell them a lot and well. I won’t reiterate the story he told but I’ll say that the spiritual highlight of it was when he talked about hope. I started to cry. I cried because my mind turned to those people I love, those people I would do anything for. He referenced the scripture where it talks about visiting those in prison, and he said there are people in prison all around us and there are those who are starting to head there all around us as well. Do you know what it is like in this place? I don’t mean a physical prison cell, but a place where your spirit starts to ache and suffocate because of situations we might get ourselves into in this world, where you start to feel like you’re losing something so important but can’t figure out how to stop from losing it. This place is horrible and if you’ve ever known what it feels like you would do anything for anyone who might be there to help them get out, to help them see a reason to continue on, even if all it takes is simply being with them and not ever letting them be alone, holding them and letting them know that they are loved. There is nothing more important than those around us. How could we ever not lend a helping hand to someone we might sense is in trouble? How could we ever shun someone? How could we ever deny someone our love? When you are continually thinking about the wellbeing of others you can know when someone is not alright. It shows in their countenance, it is felt from their thoughts, but it is only apparent to those who are sensitive and truly concerned. Have you ever looked at someone and seen that they are hurting inside? It simply is heartbreaking to see. An innocent soul cannot fathom the pain that can be felt in this life. It can be horrendous. So, please, visit those in prison and learn how to know when those around you might be there. Learning is only as hard as we make it, simply have a sincere heart. If that is something you are not sure how to have just remember a time when you cried because you lost something you loved and then apply that lens of thought over your eyes when you look at others. It becomes incredibly obvious to see the hearts of others when you do this. Our hearts are what give us our countenance and our countenance is what communicates our deepest troubles to those who can see. This is a real thing, it is more real than our physical bodies and it is the world in which we live, we simply don’t always see it the way it truly is. There is so much more to our world than what we see with our eyes. There is so much more it is astounding. Have you ever looked away from what you were doing in any given instance and seen the truth that surrounds you all the time? It is simply incredible. Just be more aware and your eyes will start to see. Be more willing and less afraid and your eyes will be opened. I’ll end with Second Kings chapter six verses 15, 16, 17, to illustrate what I mean. The servant was afraid but then his eyes were opened and he could see the real world that surrounds us all the time.
15 And when the servant of the man of God was risen early, and gone forth, behold, an host compassed the city both with horses and chariots. And his servant said unto him, Alas, my master! how shall we do? 16 And he answered, Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them. 17 And Elisha prayed, and said, Lord, I pray thee, open his eyes, that he may see. And the Lord opened the eyes of the young man; and he saw: and, behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha.
This scripture is so beautiful to me. Elisha prayed and his servant’s eyes were opened and he saw the chariots of fire that were with them, he saw the army of God. It is a beautiful scripture and it causes me to want to see like Elisha as often as I can. I know there are angels all around us guiding our ways and directing us in true paths. It is simply up to us to have faith enough to believe it. Do you really believe there are unseen angels among us? Isn’t it incredible? Doesn’t it make you want to do good? Doesn’t it make you want to visit those in prison and reach out your hand to those who are hurting? I say the church is true and it will always be true. We are blessed, I say we are so incredibly blessed.

There is a Place...

There is a place for those like me,
It’s far away across the sea,
It’s over a mountain range so vast,
It’s where the future meets the past.

This place is calm, this place is meek,
It’s where those are strong who feel so weak,
It’s where those who’re bound can become free,
And there, those who’re blind can truly see.

It’s almost like a Truth Divine
When pure thought and love align,
This is where the quiet shines
Within the air amidst its lines.

It’s sought by many but only few
Will catch a glimpse of its view,
It’s in the present where you’ll find
A truth, a gift, a peace of mind.

Though across a sea, you needn’t quest
Past the bounds of your own chest,
And though a mountain halts your tread,
You need only scale what’s in your head.

Here, one can feel the rhythm of
The beat of hearts of those they love,
And from a distance heal and grace
With a calm presence in this place.

-Jacob Winterfeldt

One Moment at a Time

We live one moment at a time and all we’re truly left with are memories. As I start this new blog I look over all of the many things I’ve written before and wonder about their origins. Where did all of those writings come from? They came because I needed to write, I had nothing else to ease my troubles, but now I have simply grown fond of using this as a form of communication. It is a symbol of who I am because only those who desire to know are the ones who read, and I’ve kept it like that for specific reasons. Only those who simply wonder and are slightly more curious than others will ever read these words, and those are the people who I am attracted to, people who simply wonder. Though I consider everyone around me my friends only a very few will ever truly understand my intentions and the things I desire. I’d rather have a few friends who are dearly close to me than a hundred who weren’t. I think relationships should be more exclusive and less gray, less inane and more true, more enlightening and less light minded. When it comes to the way this world operates I simply just don’t understand it because all of those things that I don’t want seem to be what so many other people work for and don’t ever want to do without. All I say is the only thing we can ever truly obtain from our life here is our experience and memories. When we look back upon our lives when standing before our bar what will we remember? Who will it be that comes to mind? What are the moments that we will testify of when given an opportunity to speak our hearts? Though I haven’t accomplished much in this life yet I am blessed because a very unique perspective has been rested upon my mind and only within the last little bit of my life have I started to come to that realization. This unique perspective carries with it a burden that is difficult often. I worry so much about what I say and what I write, and I probably say things I shouldn’t but what am I supposed to do? I’ve lived my life in different shades of thought and it’s been difficult to understand what it is that is appropriate to say and what isn’t. Maybe I have a few wires loose in my mind but that’s why I desire for someone to understand, someone to know that I mean well no matter what and that I would never purposely do anything to hurt anyone. I truthfully worry about this a lot, it weighs upon my mind constantly. People talk about when their hearts are broken but not only that my mind was broken. I couldn’t differentiate between what was real and what were dreams. I couldn’t’ tell if I was sleeping or awake. I felt oddly like I was living in a different world then where I was supposed to be, the lines between reality and pure consciousness blurred and everything was hazy. I didn’t know who my friends were, or who I was, and I am still recovering from this thorn in my mind. We live one moment at a time and all we’re truly left with are memories. I only hope, despite this thorn in my mind that I’ve left some good memories for people in this world. And I pray I’ll be able to continue to do so for the futures sake. I look forward to this new blog and what will end up being written here. May it be filled with good memories and good hopes for the future. Thank you everyone, thank you all. Take care and goodbye.