One Moment at a Time

We live one moment at a time and all we’re truly left with are memories. As I start this new blog I look over all of the many things I’ve written before and wonder about their origins. Where did all of those writings come from? They came because I needed to write, I had nothing else to ease my troubles, but now I have simply grown fond of using this as a form of communication. It is a symbol of who I am because only those who desire to know are the ones who read, and I’ve kept it like that for specific reasons. Only those who simply wonder and are slightly more curious than others will ever read these words, and those are the people who I am attracted to, people who simply wonder. Though I consider everyone around me my friends only a very few will ever truly understand my intentions and the things I desire. I’d rather have a few friends who are dearly close to me than a hundred who weren’t. I think relationships should be more exclusive and less gray, less inane and more true, more enlightening and less light minded. When it comes to the way this world operates I simply just don’t understand it because all of those things that I don’t want seem to be what so many other people work for and don’t ever want to do without. All I say is the only thing we can ever truly obtain from our life here is our experience and memories. When we look back upon our lives when standing before our bar what will we remember? Who will it be that comes to mind? What are the moments that we will testify of when given an opportunity to speak our hearts? Though I haven’t accomplished much in this life yet I am blessed because a very unique perspective has been rested upon my mind and only within the last little bit of my life have I started to come to that realization. This unique perspective carries with it a burden that is difficult often. I worry so much about what I say and what I write, and I probably say things I shouldn’t but what am I supposed to do? I’ve lived my life in different shades of thought and it’s been difficult to understand what it is that is appropriate to say and what isn’t. Maybe I have a few wires loose in my mind but that’s why I desire for someone to understand, someone to know that I mean well no matter what and that I would never purposely do anything to hurt anyone. I truthfully worry about this a lot, it weighs upon my mind constantly. People talk about when their hearts are broken but not only that my mind was broken. I couldn’t differentiate between what was real and what were dreams. I couldn’t’ tell if I was sleeping or awake. I felt oddly like I was living in a different world then where I was supposed to be, the lines between reality and pure consciousness blurred and everything was hazy. I didn’t know who my friends were, or who I was, and I am still recovering from this thorn in my mind. We live one moment at a time and all we’re truly left with are memories. I only hope, despite this thorn in my mind that I’ve left some good memories for people in this world. And I pray I’ll be able to continue to do so for the futures sake. I look forward to this new blog and what will end up being written here. May it be filled with good memories and good hopes for the future. Thank you everyone, thank you all. Take care and goodbye.