For anyone who has ever suffered from severe depression, and I don’t mean just feeling really bad and horrible sometimes, I mean consistent feelings that are literally crippling, and devastating to the mind, heart and soul. For anyone who experiences these types of feelings on any regular basis just know that I know how you feel. They are horrible and I would not wish these things on anyone. I know the feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness all too well, and I know how hard it is when loved ones just don’t understand and take it personally that you’re struggling. I do say that there is nothing much more painful to bear when judgment befalls you and you simply need nothing other than love, help and understanding. Just know that, even though you don’t feel like it you are stronger than those feelings that come over you, and they are there for you to overcome. This life is yours to master and to perfect in your way, and to have anything your heart desires. This is your life, and you are blest beyond all else.
I know the feelings like you have nowhere to go and there is nothing for you, and the very instances of having those feelings in the first place is only magnified when you see that those that you really do care about and love start to push you away because they think you are choosing to do things that make a person depressed. It is a horrible and a devastating place to be, because all you need is love, but you get criticism, and others don’t see that, they only see a person that is unhappy and no good for anyone else’s benefit. It is remarkable, if not tragic that there is a point when it clicks in a person’s head that they feel the only way they’re going to get what they desperately need is when their very life is at stake. Why it ever even has to come to this point in the first place I’ll never know. But I do know intimately that there often times is no full recovery for a person who’s been in that situation. One can try to mark it up as a learning experience, and yes indeed there are many lessons to be learned from such a trial, but often the sheer trauma of such an event is more horrendously crippling for the beautiful soul that the event encounters. And it is only known to that soul the pain of the situation, because no one else who has not gotten to the point where they think that taking their own life is the only way to get what they desperately need can possible fathom the eternal racking of mind, spirit, and body.
I am Jacob, and I am here to be tested and proven. My namesake is strong, my ideas are strong, my passion is strong. I know there is a God, I know that I have great power, and though my mind is hurt, and my body is hurt, and my heart is hurt, and my soul is hurt, I know that there is a God and I know that I can be healed, I know that I will be healed.
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